Life at CMU : June 22 to July 24

A strong breeze with silken touch gently pats my face,
Swaying and merrily dancing along, with utmost grace.
The clouds play hide and seek, as I give a longing stare,
Oh yeah ! a pretty sight; you know rain is in the air.

As I fasten my paces, in my journey towards the campus,
The squirrel hops along, nonchalant; without any fuss.
The Cathedral is at its imposing best; tall in stature.
When you look for beauty ; don’t look beyond nature.

I look back upon the eventful month I have had so far,
Work keeps me busy;courtesy Eduardo and Ed Barr.
Yeah I know that I have done pretty well in all my courses,
Of course it’s been a struggle;Life is not a bed of roses.

That was an attempt to check if the poetic fire was still burning inside me… looks like it still does

It has been a draining month so far, physically and emotionally. It began on a wonderful note when me and my team got deserving grades for our project work. I also had to work on a new course from Heinz.. It is about Business Writing.. My main objective of taking up this course was to make up credits and lead life easy but the assignments break your back.. I have realised that blog writing and professional writing were chalk and cheese.. yet the results have been satisfying.. I could feel the difference the course has made to my professional writing abilities..

The ISR courses and project work have also kept me busy and occupied.. My team ( Suprema, Vignesh, and Yours Truly) put up a satisfying show in our Estimation presentation..But the challenges of balancing time are really nerve wrecking.. frequency of cooking at home has considerably reduced, and the routine for the last few days has been .. struggle to wake up at 7 30, still struggle but wake up without a choice by 8, take a bath, eat breakfast (if milk and corn flakes are available ;D), go to college by 9 30..( I love those morning walks from home to college), attend classes, then break for lunch ( which has invariably been slices of bread), then attend mentor meetings, client meetings, team meetings, make desperate attempts to do project work, take a break from them and do course assignments instead, and finally, give up attempts to conquer sleep and take the escort shuttle to home from college at 1 45.. and repeat the routine again..

On a personal front, I have been missing mom, dad, sister, mom’s food, and all my buddies ( Prem,Logic,Achu,Madhu to name a few).. but work has kept me occupied.. I have also gone through a phase which has only made me mentally stronger.. I have witnessed love and trust being murdered in the name of “sensibility” and “practicality” , the two common words that are most mis-understood and often used when people need an excuse..

I have never seen people treat a sacred “institution” with utter contempt in the name of being practical.. an institution that teaches you the joy of living together,loving each other, developing trust, making compromises for mutual benefit has been reduced to a matter of convenience these days.. materialistic aspirations have dis-illusioned such a holy institution.. Yeah.. I think the topic deserves a separate blog post, but it does not deserve my time at present..

Failures bring out the purpose of your actions and life as a whole..such incidents can only make you stronger and more determined to come up in life..I realised that I had to neglect the distractions and focus on the purpose of my CMU visit..I have got the best parents that I could have wished for, the best sister and the most supportive brother in law I could have hoped for.. I have been blessed with the best set of friends that I could ask for,- the ones who would stand by your side to help you see through your difficult moments,and I am here in Pittsburgh, 40000 miles away from my home ONLY to “Realise my mom’s dream” and yeah on a positive note, it was nice to have been reminded that I was fit,fresh,fine,YOUNG..and just 23

Plethora of Emotions

Arjun applied his breaks just in time to pause for the signal.. the traffic was heavy as people were being help up to clear the road for a safe passage for the minsiter’s convoy.

He was staring without an aim and reflecting on his thoughts..his emotions were getting the better of him and his mind was clouded and disturbed..

He was feeling pretty low and sorry for himself, perhaps the worst state one could ever wish to be..

He had let ANGER get the better of him, picking up fights with his friends for no apparent reason,his DEFEATist attitude was making him feel bad with every FAILURE,he wished certain things would go his way: with a mixture of EXPECTATION and HOPE and when reality had something else in store, he was cursing himself in self EMBARASSMENT.

His own INDECISIVENESS and that of people around him was adding to his frustration and he was lamenting the fact that not enough SUCCESS came along despite him pitching in the best of efforts and the grief and PAIN of disappointment and unfulfilled EXPECTATIONS were haunting him.Harsh realities in schooling days had taught him that REVENGE eats up half your time and peace of mind, and it takes strength of mind to abstain oneself from seeking it, and the best way to avoid JEALOUSY was to celebrate others’ success. The traffic was starting to clear and the road ahead seemed clearer now, and Arjun was moving forward through the army of vehicles..

Just then, Arjun’s ears began revebrating with the dreaded hissing sound..yes it was a flat tyre..Luckily, the garage was nearby and Arjun asked the mechanic to hand over the car at his home when it was ready, and he proceeded to have a walk towards his home which was a couple of kilometers away.

An old woman was waiting patiently for her turn to cross the road, and inconsiderate people seemed to be unmindful, hardly caring to stop, yet there was not even a hint of ANGER due to frustration in her visage. She waited patiently, knowing her turn would come.Arjun clasped her wrinkled hands firmly and helped her cross the street.

As he walked on, he saw a few kids playing a game of marbles. A kid narrowly missed his shot, and the winning group traded high fives and the losers sulked for a moment. Almost immediately, “one more time” said the losing group captain.. ” get ready for the next win” said the victorious captain to his team. Arjun watched with keen interest as to how the losing kids quickly shrugged off their DEFEAT, and how the winning team wanted more SUCCESS.This time around, the other team won and soon the kids were holding their hands together, gazing at the huge billboards in awe, with no trace of PAIN,REVENGE or JEALOUSY.

A herd of goats were scampering accross, almost reaching the other side only to come all the way back on hearing a loud horn..so much for INDECISIVENESS and yet Arjun could spot them realligning themselves, sticking to their original plans ,determined to give it a try all over again.

Arjun was just a couple of cross streets away from his home and
on one side of the road, a lame beggar was sitting besides a magnificient paiting of Lord Hanuman. Arjun stopped, admiring the beautiful piece of art, and the beggar looked up at Arjun with HOPE. Arjun thrust a ten rupee note into the beggar’s hand. “Thank You, Sir this is a bonus as I usually expect just a well done or a one rupee coin from people for all this”. So much so for EXPECTATIONS for efforts !

As he moved ahead, Arjun observed a middle aged man squatted under the street lights. Arjun walked up towards him, partially wondering how one could take up such a job. “I can guess what you are thinking Sir, I can tell you I dont see any EMBARASSMENT in doing this: I need to feed my wife and kids and I prefer stooping down and polishing shoes for a living rather than standing upright and stabbing others behind their back for instant success! ”

Arjun was speechless ” Polish ?” the man asked cheekily. Arjun was retiring to his home for the night and obviously he did not need one but still, he decided to have his shoes gleamed up and handed out a two rupee coin. ” And now tell your wife that though you bent down to polish my shoes, you recevied your pay with your head held high !” said Arjun with a wink.

Arjun was coming out of his cocoon,thanks to a flat tyre, and the realities of the outer world made him realise that everyone else was having their own set of emotions to keep them occupied as well.

Back at home, Arjun unbuttoned his Orange shirt and let it hang neatly.After some minutes, he was all by himself in his room, lights switched off, the moonlight finding its way, tricking through the curtains, blissfully illuminating the room. The Moon is a magical mix of charm, mystery and romance Arjun looked up at the fast revolutions of the ceiling fan, going back to those glorious days as a kid..

Arjun longed for those days when ..

1.INDECISIVENESS meant being unable to choose between a packet of Uncle Chips and Cadbury’s Crackle
2.JEALOUSY was when you looked with hate at the big ice cream cone on your sister’s hands when you were struggling with a sore throat
3. ADAMANCE meant refusing to let “Paatimma” watch Mahabharatham when the timings clashed with India’s cricket matches
4. REVENGE was all about letting the air out of the cycle wheels of your friend who won the race to touch the school gates first
5. PAIN was something that you experienced when the family doctor drove his sterilized syringe right through your bum
6. EMBARASSMENT made you blush when the girl next to you pointed out that you had failed to pull up your zip after attending nature’s call
7. APOLOGY was never at premium especially when the Social Science teacher expected one and the clang of bells meant the next hour was the P.T period
8.DESIRE meant longing for a gulp of “Goldspot” after having spent the entire day playing under arm cricket in the blazing sun
9. DEFEAT and FAILURE meant a lost opportunity to be the first person to wish the prettiest girl in class on her birthday
10. ANGER made you fume when Mom refused to let you indulge yourself in the rain but vanished as soon as she opened the window to let you admire the rainbow
11. EXPECTATION and IMPATIENCE meant glancing at the intercom longingly, waiting to utter the chants “hari ohm shanno …”- the evening prayer so that you could crash straight into mom’s arms for a tight hug after having won a prize at school
12 HOPE meant you would still keepy praying for an Indian win, even after the fall of Sachin’s wicket
13 COURAGE meant the guts to walk upto your neighbour and ask if you could retrieve the ball,after having just smashed his window with a swashbucking hit
14 And most importantly, SUCCESS meant both “NOTHING and EVERYTHING” and CELEBRATIONS NEVER NEEDED A REASON

Arjun was reflecting on all that had happened, the lessons he had learnt on the streets that day. He was tossing and rolling over from one side to another,unable to sleep.He was just hoping for better days ahead and realised that no one else but Arjun himself had to take the initiative if he wanted his state of affairs to improve. Slowly, the effect of the moonlight softened, upto a point of non botheration ,Arjun stopped sensing the comfort of the breeze and he could not hear the sounds made by the rotations of the fan blade against the wind anymore…

And in case you thought Arjun had breathed his last, courtesy a massive cardiac arrest…

Arjun was in his own dreamy world by that time, a world where the Aishwarya Rais and Nayantharas were waiting to welcome him with open arms

Life is too short to be spent worrying. Live for the moment

Operation “Recognition”

Jeev swerved just in time to see a bullet whiz past his face and shatter the glass painting on the wall.His heart was now thumping heavily.His guts eluded him just for a second but he regained composure quickly enough to move to the corner of the room.His ears were reverbrating with the shrill gun shots that were sending hollowing vibrations through his chest.He turned around to make sure the occupants of the room where the public were taking refuge were safe.He was a commando in the operation to flush out terrorists who had stormed into the hotel that was the pride of the people.

He saw a kid clinging on to his mother,hiding his face in her bosom.He could not help thinking of his mother at this juncture.She had pleaded with him,begging and warning him alternatively against joining the army.She had already lost her husband in a war and wanted her son to land up in a secure government job.He was the sole breadwinner now for his mother and his two kid sisters.He knew she must be now pressing the old radio deep into her ears,( for they could not afford a television)listening pensively to the updates regarding the gravity of the situation.

He moved as swift as a swan, as silent as a cat, down the steps leading to the floor beneath.He pressed down his boots firmly to the ground, the right foot twisted acutely at thirty degrees,and starting retaliating, focussing on the directions from which the gun shots could be heard.The firing was getting intense now.After sometime,Jeev heard a grunt.Perhaps, he had his man with a shot,but the terrorists would not cave in easily.Jeev could now spot a man scamper across in the other direction,but by the time Jeev fired,the man had sped away across the ceddar to the lower floors.As he was tracing his steps backward, he bumped on his colleague and they were now pretty much sure that they had captured this floor.

Leaving the other commando to guard the wing,Jeev moved to the lower sections,where his other warriors were holding forte.As he marched downwards, his father’s last moments flashed accross his mind.He was a brave man,to whom serving the country as an army man was more a matter of pride than means of earning a livelyhood. He was a sepoy and the doting father fed Jeev on tales of bravery.Jeev’s Dad was his ultimate hero.He was fatally injured during one of the combing operations across the border.He lay helpless during his last days at the army hospital,with his wife by his side, Jeev, a mere teenager then and the two toddlers looking quizzically at all the bandages wrapped across their Dad’s body.

“Jeev,five steps to your right, and then start firing again,guard room “Pleasant” were all the inmates have been lodged.Good luck.Jai Hind”, the words of a fellow commando interrupted his thoughts.Jeev quickly moved into his position, and started engaging the terrorists.The battle continued longer this time.Jeev was physically worn out and could hardly restrain himself from swooning.”Jeev, step aside, we will take care, you come back after a short while, you have fought brave and hard enough”.Jeev stepped into the room where the inmates had gathered.Their faces were frozen with fear.Just then, a kid offered water in his sipper to Jeev.”Have uncle”, he said with his outstretched arms.Jeev managed a smile.

He rested with his back to the wall,sipping water and recollecting those last few days with his Dad.”Jeev, why don’t you join the army,along the lines of your Dad?” asked Balram uncle who was Dad’s best buddy in the regiment.His Mom gave a glum look and said ” No ji, I would not let that happen.Look at his Dad,he spent his entire life fighting for the country,yet what do we get in return ? Does the grocer push off the bills when I say that my husband serves the nation and unfortunately I have barely enough to meet other expenses this month ? I don’t want to risk the life and future of my son and my family again one more time.” Jeev gathered his voice and said ” I would realise whatever Dad dreamt of achieving”.His Dad’s eyes gleamed with hope for one last time that day.

But nowadays,Jeev was feeling the pinch.Even in the army camps,Jeev was fed up of watching all the channels dish out one program after the other on celebrity movie stars, millionaire sports persons and corrupt politicians.”Do you know that Miss Pretty Junta loves toast for breakfast ?” Jeev’s men had gone for days without food as sometimes the stock could not be brought in time to the hilly regions were they were posted.”Do you know that Mr.Saw Rook Corn has run out of space to park his new Mercedes ?” The troops guarding the border had to traverse miles of difficult terrain on foot,yet no one was bothered about it.”Hair Bhojan’s ankle sprain leaves Indian team in trouble”. Little did people know that the very day, ten jawans died thwarting infiltration.Had they not laid their lives down,entire India would have been in trouble.

But the incident that pained Jeev most was the summoning up of an actor to hoist the flag for the Independence Day celebrations at the Corporation School in his native village. Jeev was fast rising in the ranks ,and his mom was the wife of a brave sepoy who had laid his life down for the country,yet both were not even invited personally for the function.This lack of recognition even in his own neighbourhood pained him a great deal.”For whom are we fighting ? Why do we go through such ardous hours of battle? What next after this Operation ? Who would take care of my family in case of a mishap?” were a few questions running through his mind.Just then, he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.It was a fellow fighter.”Jeev, the combat is heating up and we need you now for the battle”.He was quickly up on his feet.

Jeev was right outside the room now.He was fighting like how the son of a valliant warrior should.The stars on his majestic shoulders shone even brighter now.His arm was aching,his feet had grown numb,his fingers were sore ,but he just would not give up.It was a tense battle that went on for hours.The brave men fought on,without a break.All the other floors had been conquered and finally, Jeev and his comrades had succeeded in their liberation attempts.Jeev kissed in delight the “rudraksh” that his mom had put around his neck.

Jeev stepped out of the battle place to the outside world after nearly two days, the frustration due to lack of recognition still burning inside him.Just then, a young girl child reached out with a white rose in her hand.”Well done ,Uncle” she said.Jeev accepted it to thunderous applause.A few youngsters airlifted him on their shoulders.Jeev looked around and was pleasantly surprised to see his fellow comrades subjected to similar treatment.He was brought back to ground after great celebrations.Young women came up to him with autograph books,requesting him to sign and take photos.An old granny,gently walked up to Jeev and wiped the drops of sweat and blood dripping from his face with the “pallu” end of her cotton saree.Jeev could feel those wrinkles on her palm as she gently patted his cheek.Jeev’s eyes were moist with tears.Finally, the warriors were beginning to get the adulation that had eluded them for so long.

Jeev struggled past the crowd ,only to be interrupted by a milieu of cameramen and enthusuastic reporters.Flashlights were focussed on the heroes who had won the nation’s hearts.Jeev and his men blushed at their first tryst with the cameras.”Sir,…..” Jeev was being bombarded with questions and congratulatory messages,but he moved through the crowd towards a middle aged man, wearing khadi,sporting dark square framed glasses, waiting patiently in the hot sun,wiping the sweat on his brow with a handkerchief, holding the mike with the words “ALL INDIA RADIO” etched on it.Jeev gently went up to him,lowered his visage to be in the mike’s vicinity and with teary eyes and choking voice, mumbled ” Maa, I know you will be listening to this.I hope I have lived my Dad’s dream and done you proud.Jai Hind”

(The entire nation has woken up.When will you politicians wake up from your slumber and grant the brave armymen their rightful pension dues ? When you grant full privileges and protection to the ministers, even years after their tenure at office,why can’t you do the same to recognise the sacrifice of armymen who stay awake to guard us when we sleep?Are not gun totting men, who keep vigil at your Italian power maker’s door step entitled to have a bowl of rice to feed their family?
Written in support of the army men’s rightful protest towards the failure of this government to listen to their plea for a pension review.
Jai Hind).

Seasons of Change:Kaalangal Maralam-2

Arjun woke up early the next day..He was pretty nervous about going to his new workplace..After hastily gulping down a few idlys ,he rushed to his bus stop to cling on to a bus that would take him to Pillar.Luckily, he got another Share Auto as soon as he reached Pillar.There he was , crouching uncomfortably,sandwiched between fellow office goers, hoping that the ordeal would end soon.As he neared the Industrial Estate in Guindy, he glanced at his watch in despair.The connecting shuttle would start from the back streets of the railway station in another five minutes.

The stretch leading to the subway was mushrooming with people.Guys in their teens arranged themselves in a linear formation,squatting on top of the parapet walls, giving a running commentary on girls passing by.Unmindful people were glancing impatiently towards the road,waiting for their buses.The cobbler was busy showing off his dexterity and expertise at mending shoes.Arjun inched past them all into the dingy subway.

Arjun was galloping down the steps, two at a time.The hawkers were right on his face this time, trying to sell stickers,fruits, kerchiefs, pirated CD,s etc. He edged them out, finally emerging out of the subway, only to run into another bustling crowd near the lead up to the staircase at the railway station.After hustling past the train commuters, and the poor beggars who had made the staircase their own home, he was just in time to spot the shuttle gearing up to leave.

He jutted out his ID card, and the half convinced driver reluctantly let him in.Alas, when he got in,there was no empty seat available, and he was pretty uncomfortable at the sight of 15 other colleagues curiously staring at the new entrant.He smiled at a few, and gave empty glares at the others.His eyes were moving all the time, to see if he could spot at least one familiar face.As he did this, he spotted some one glancing out of the window from the corner of his eye.He fixed his glances on her now. She turned her sights, only to see him looking at her intently.Both of them exchanged sheepish smiles before the driver asked Arjun to come and sit near him as there was some space available.Grudgingly, he moved to the front.

He did not have much work till afternoon on the first day as his Team Lead was held up in a meeting in another location and would be back only by the afternoon.He was sitting in the conference room, only to be curiously surveyed by fellow colleagues in a manner similar to how a predator sizes up its prey.He pulled out his GRE book to start his preparations.By the afternoon, word of mouth passed on that his Lead had been on the look out for him.He had not met her before, and he hopped from one cabin to another, asking for directions to her place.While doing this, Arjun was mentally charting out the sort of person whom he was expecting to meet.Perhaps a middle aged woman, spectacled, disinterested in a conversation and more bothered about extracting work,stern and intimidating.But when he met his Lead, he was taken aback…

She was a sprightly person in her mid twenties.At first glance, Arjun got the impression that she would be full of life and encouraging.This comforted him a lot.She then took him to a conference room to brief him about the project.After all the formal talks, she asked him about his background.When Arjun mentioned that he was a pucca “Chennai vaasi”, she was slightly surprised as she had thought that he was a North Indian.When Arjun swore that he knew “local Tamil” and gave out the name of his college, a thousand watt smile enveloped her visage..” hey you are my junior, I too am from the same college”.Both the alumni were basking in joy that they had found a colleague from the same college !

Arjun got to know that since the project was in its inception phase, only his lead, himself and another colleague would initially be a part of the team.He could not meet the other mate as he was on leave.He got into the shuttle in the evening, but to his disappointment , the girl with whom he exchanged glances in the morning was nowhere to be found.

A week had passed , and Arjun was doing a pretty decent job of juggling between his work and his GRE preparations.His Lead turned out to be very patient and supportive.He could not have asked for a better colleague at the beginning of his career.One day, he was held up due to work and missed his regular shuttle.After bidding good bye to his Lead who was hurrying home in her car to get back to her Husband and their kid who was waiting for her,he packed his bags to leave for the weekend. Weary eyed, he reached the Velachery bus stop at around nine in the night.As he kept looking around, he found the “Shuttle” girl (with whom he had exchanged glances a week back) some distance from him,waiting for her bus.She was standing right beneath the huge lights that illuminate the place.Sporting a yellow shirt and black formal pants, two big round dangling ear rings that matched her attire , penciled eyebrows and sultry eyes, a cute pony tail that kept jumping up and down whilst she was talking on her mobile nodding aggressively,neatly trimmed nails polished in red,a silver bracelet to adorn her slender wrist,she was quite a sight that day !

Arjun still did not know her name,and so the next morning, he arrived early and took a seat in the back rows of the shuttle, hoping that she would take the same shuttle that day and join him.But as luck would have it, the others arrived, and started filling up the seats one by one.At last, she arrived,but ended up occupying a seat far from Arjun. Arjun would not give up easily that day, and was determined to know her name at least. He quickly thought of a plan B. He observed that she was fourth from the person who started filling up the trip sheet and when he could lay his hands on them,he started looking for the fourth entry in that sheet, gave a chuckle to himself,when he found the name “KALPANA”..

Seasons of Change : Kaalangal Maaralam

With his left thumb pressed against the bus window,Arjun pushed it open to throw a glance towards the bustling road. He was returning after one of the most significant days of his career. He had just been alloted a project in one of the locations near Velachery after his training.A million questions were running through his mind.The biggest worry was whether he would have sufficient time to prepare for a private exam which was due next month.Would he be able to settle down in a team quickly ? How accomodative would his Project Lead be? Would he be able to cope up with the pressure,yet at the same time pursue his interests for a secure future ? He would discover answers for all these questions and many more in the days to come.For the moment,he was only too happy to go back home ,give his mom a tight hug and break the good news.Taking a deep breath, he pushed his back firmly against the seat, pressed his study book gently on his face to guard against the trickle of light that was bothering his impending sleep, and closed his eyelids for a short nap..